Twelve Tips to Quit Smoking

Honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I thought

I wouldn’t trade my years of chain-smoking while watching German New Wave cinema for anything, but it when it was time to let go, it was time. Photo by Dimitri Bong on Unsplash

Apparently every single stop-smoking article was written by a doctor, a nun, or a bucket of Twinkie filling because they contain absolutely zero in the way of a meaningful, inhabited, been-there set of observations about kicking. I swear, half of these articles are just a list of reasons you shouldn’t have started smoking in the first place, and they list benefits like “fresher breath,” as if that means anything to a smoker. (P.S. It doesn’t. Smokers can’t smell anything. Well, until the nasal cells begin regenerating, and then you realize that your favorite T-shirt smells like a hesher’s beard and it’s very difficult.)

Anyway, I found it annoying that all of the articles about quitting were so sanctimonious and unhelpful, so here are the things I did that helped. These are all specific to me, and may apply in only limited ways to others. (It’s also worth noting that I spent a lot of time every day doing what I need to do to stay sober and take care of my mental health, and all of those things are the bedrock on which anything else rests.) Anyway:

I didn’t quit until I was quit.

I know that will sound facetious, but I mean it. I had never attempted to stop smoking before January 10th, 2018, because actually, I didn’t want to. I…